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I Love John Gagliardi

Courtesy of meandmymoney.com

I am not a big sports fan.
I never played football in college.
I have never met John Gagliardi or had any contact with Saint John’s University.

But I love John Gagliardi, and it’s not because he won the most games in college football history.    It’s not because he, along with Chris Ault and Joe Paterno, are the only three active football coaches who are inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame.  It’s because of the way that he inspired his players to win, and because he gave me a goal to strive for, a goal that will help the world. Before I share my reasons, I should probably share something very personal with you.

A bit of personal history

Both my father and mother were ill when I was young.  My mother died when I was 19.  My father lived into his 70′s but it wasn’t the kind of life that I would wish on anyone.

My father came from a big family.   He had a bad back. There was no money to pay for an operation.  He got the back surgery he needed by participating in an experimental program: make yourself a guinea pig, and you get free surgery,  simple as that.  If you’ve ever had back problems, you know how debilitating back pain can be.  My father went for the surgery, and it worked.  But, after the surgery my loving sweet-as-a-kitten father was hospitalized for manic-depressive behavior accompanied with schizophrenia.

We didn’t know it at the time, but the episode was caused by the effects of the experimental anesthesia that was used to put him under during the surgery.  My father was young, and with a regiment of drugs and shock therapy, he bounced back, for a while.  He was plagued by bouts of mental illness all of his life, and the older he got, the worse the condition became.

As a boy and teenager, I visited my father in a number of state run mental hospitals, including The Philadelphia State Mental Hospital and Embreeville State Hospital. As you can tell from visiting the sites to which I’ve linked, they were not nice places for a ten-year old to visit, and visiting didn’t get much better as I grew into a teenager.

Still, a wonderful thing happened when the Philadelphia  State Mental hospital was being shut down–my father had the unbelievable luck to be the first resident of the Calvin and Morris Hassel Residence, sponsored by JEVS Human Services.  In this home he was treated with dignity and respect, and the last several years of his life were filled with as much joy as is possible.

My father was a wonderful person

When my father was well, he was one of the most loving people on the Earth, and he was always there for me.  He demonstrated this love as much by what he didn’t do (making me feel guilty about not having him live with me) as well as what he did do (encouraged me to believe in myself, and always greeting me with a smile.)

I couldn’t do anything to help him, except visit him with and love him.  That’s what I did, but to say it was hard on me is a major understatement.  Going to visit your father in a hospital where other patients look at you as fresh meat is terribly hard.  As I matured,  I wanted to do things to help my father, but even then I was helpless.  For example, when I was in my late twenties, I tried to have him live with me and my family, but I had to give it up because he set the curtains on fire.  He thought the house was bugged, and that by burning the curtains, he would protect us from the Russians and others who wanted to do us harm.

How my personal experience ties in with John Gagliardi

When he could do it, my Dad was always there for me. When he was well, the things my father told me were from the heart, and I cherished them.  There’s something very special about getting good advice from a parent who is frequently unable to provide it.  In retrospect, the advice that he gave me was very similar to the advice that John Gagliardi gives his players.  Maybe that’s why it rings so true to me.

John Gagliardi, age 85 at the time I’m writing this post, has established himself as the most successful college football coach of all time.  He compiled a total record of 471-126-11, and his coaching career proved that an ordinary guy can do extraordinary things.  In the book, “No-How Coaching, Strategies for Winning in Sports and Business from the Coach Who Says, “No,” John was quoted as  saying,”

I know everyone prefers to be successful, to win.  But we don’t win every game.  We’re winning three out of four, but we’re losing one out of four.  And look at the plays.  You lose most of your plays.  Most great successes come after disaster. Good athletes don’t give up.  They bounce back.

Bouncing Back

“They bounce back.“ That’s exactly what I had to do time after time as a kid.  I wrote an essay about resilience  for the PBS book This I Believe. It didn’t make it into the book, but it did make it onto their website. I wanted to help other people bounce back in the same way that John Gagliardi did, but I’m not a football coach.  As an author, the best that I can do is to write from the heart, and to write books that help people bounce back. That’s what I’ve done.  If you’re interested, you can read about  my books here, but this post is about John Gagliardi.  Let’s take a peek into some of the “No’s” that John shares with his athletes:

• No Need to Discipline
• No Reverence for Titles
• No Ignoring Anyone’s Talent
• No Limiting Recognition to a Few
• No Narrow Minded Dress Rules
• No Harassment. Period.
• No Busy Work
• No Distractions from the Basics
• No Waiting for Luck
• No Winning Without Fun
• No Withholding Honor Earned
• No Overdoing the Rules
• No Time Wasting Meetings
• No Put Downs
• No Playing Favorites
• No Shirking Responsibility
• No Being a Jerk
• No Being a Drill Sergeant
• No Focusing on Mistakes
• No Unnecessary Anything
• No Celebrating the Heroes Only
• No Pushing Unwanted Rewards
• No Trashy Cheap Behavior
• No Overloading by Overanalysis
• No Fear of Taking a Risk
• No Giving Power to Setbacks
• No Settling for Less Than the Best
• No Promises Just Results
• No End to the Possibilities

I believe in this advice, and I’m going to impart it in my own way

I love John Gagliardi  because he has showed me a way to help the world, one-person-at-a-time, just like he does with coaching. I’ve decided to write a series of  Kindle and nook that kids can get for $.99, on each these topics. They won’t quote John directly.  They’ll be based on his advice, but impart my wisdom.

I realize it’s easy to say what I’m going to do. I realize that this project will probably take five-years, but I have a track record of success, so I’m sure I can do it.

The bottom line

People say it takes all kinds to make a world, but I can’t help thinking what a much better world it would be if there were more people in it like John Gagliardi, and my father.  Perhaps through my writing, I can help to encourage more people to think and act like both of them.

A book about John Gagliardi

I did not write this book. I don’t make any royalties from it. Jim Collison wrote it. I don’t know Jim. I do know good writing. This book captures John’s spirit, and if you’re a football fan, or a human being who wants to make a difference, I strongly suggest checking it out. Amazon will let you peek inside it for free.

Visit Amazon Kindle to learn more about my Kindle books.